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YVONNE: Several days ago we talked about how we could approach overweight loved ones about concerns we have with their health.
Actress Mary-Kate Olsen's admission yesterday that she has anorexia reminds us that the other end of the spectrum is not just a vanity concern. The 18-year-old has admitted herself into a clinic, which is very encouraging news and a good example to set for other young people. Web4health reports that in a study of anorexia patients, 15% died within 12 years from suicide, infections, stomach problems or malnutrition. You may recall that incredibly talented singer/drummer Karen Carpenter of the Carpenters died in 1983 at age 32 of heart failure, the result of years of suffering with anorexia.
Let's face it - most of us love it when people call us "skinny" or notice when we've lost a few pounds. But how do we keep ourselves and our friends from obsessing about being thin? Although I am wearing the size clothing I have dreamed about for years and am very happy with how I look in clothing, I still look at my butt when I am undressed and think it's enormous.
THERESA: It's a very tough issue. And so many Hollywood stars deny they have a problem, even as they become more and more skeletal. I think it's wonderful that Mary-Kate is dealing with her health in this positive way right now.
LAURIE:
Body image is such a snakepit for women especially, though men are unfortunately buying into it too, and taking steroids. Most of the movie and TV stars out there, when standing next to normal people, are so extraordinarily small and/or wiry. As though, along with talent, you can't be bigger than a size 2. Thank God for more normal-sized actors like Liv Tyler or Russell Crowe, and for old Ingrid Bergman movies!
I remember going to my 20th high school reunion and seeing some women I had so much wanted to look like as a high schooler. They were extremely petite, I now could see. There was no way a big-boned girl like me could ever have looked like that, and I felt sad for my younger self, desiring such an impossibility -- all the while ignoring the fact that I had a great figure, just not a small one.
The pursuit of this unrealistic, culturally-imposed ideal of thinness makes all of us miserable, but clearly there's a profound difference between wanting to be thin and being anorexic. That's a psychological disorder that probably isn't as much about food and weight as it is about control and perfection and other deep-seated issues. I'm no expert about this, but I think it's the same difference between social drinkers who sometimes, even often, have too much to drink, and alcoholics. I knew a couple who drank the same amount, but when it clearly became a problem, she stopped and he couldn't. Same behavior, different underlying cause.
So while I decry this desperation to diet and lose weight that so many of us are afflicted with, I don't think most of us have to worry about us or our loved ones being anorexic.
Excuse me, Laurie. Russell Crowe?
Posted by: Theresa on June 23, 2004 11:17 AMIf you look at the pictures of him in the various magazines (c'mon, admit it, you do!) and think of his character in "Master and Commander," he's definitely a man with love handles.
Posted by: Laurie on June 23, 2004 11:18 AMIt is really heart breaking to hear another young women has fallen victim to anorexia and our culture's obsession with thinness. Good for Mary-Kate that she is getting treatment.
Skinny, however does not mean one is fit or healthy. It is just a person's genetic makeup. I have never aspired to "thinness" and I celebrate my toned and voluptuous hips, butt, and thighs. In fact, I love the way I look naked.
Posted by: Kimberly Garrison on June 23, 2004 03:12 PMEven the seemingly straightlaced child actors have some underlining issues to deal with. There's no such thing as 'being perfect'.
Posted by: R.C. on June 23, 2004 05:35 PMI am 15 and I really like Mary Kate and Ashley. This is very sad for me to hear, but I am glad that Mary Kate is getting treatment.... It is nice to know, that young girls I look up to for there fame, looks and fortune I can also look up to for their "normal" problems..that "normal" teens go through. I wil be praying for her.
Posted by: Ashlee on June 26, 2004 11:32 AMM-K is not stupid there's 2 types of anorexia 1.the I think I am fat anorexia
2.The diesease-M-K has the diesease.... DUH!!!
so take that back... the same thing to anyone else who says she's #1
GOT IT
Posted by: Kitty on June 26, 2004 09:20 PMkitty- there is one type of anorexia and it is the disease one. from a recoverer of it, i think i wouled know. either way, they think theyre incredible fat. thats just a part of it, not a whole seperate classification.
thanks
sarah
dear kitty,
if anorexia was a disease, then it wouldn't be anorexia. anorexia is simply this: a person, not even a girl, looks in the mirror, sees themselves as fat, and does anything to please their eye to see themselves as not fat. there's not different kinds - that'd bel ike saying there's different kinds of yellow fever. there's one kind. that's it. millions of people suffer from it. and yeah, it's a shame that this civilization has gone this far to be "thin". but there are so many other people who aren't multi-millionares and can't afford treatment. yet another profound thing to put on a cover of a magazine.
i dont really like mk or ashley cuz there are so many girls who like them that they are a bad example. I'm only 12, i really don;t like their idea of having to be pretty and wearing makeup and those really tight clothes. New y. min was stupid and atleast shes getting treatment. I have a friend who is so obsessed with them and she tries to be thin and "sexy"
Posted by: madame f on July 10, 2004 10:06 PMi dont really like mk or ashley cuz there are so many girls who like them that they are a bad example. I'm only 12, i really don;t like their idea of having to be pretty and wearing makeup and those really tight clothes. New y. min was stupid and atleast shes getting treatment. I have a friend who is so obsessed with them and she tries to be thin and "sexy"
Posted by: on July 10, 2004 10:06 PMIf the rumors r true, that MK waz tking drugs, I think that what she did waz wrong, but I still hope she gets well, even if she dint do drugs. I mean lots of young girls look up 2 them (her) and hope she gets well, if the rumors were true she waz setting a bad example 2 most of her fans. O and I dont agree that NY min. waz stupid I haven't cnn it, but I would like 2, sounds like a kool movie!
Posted by: Via on July 31, 2004 08:59 PMMK?what wre you thinking i mean ever since i could remember i used to watch your guys case solving show you were my roll modle well i still love you but the / is why
Posted by: Brooke on October 9, 2004 08:59 PMOne of you guys said that anorexics would do anything too please their eyes, in reality anorexics never get pleased we always see ourselfs as a big fat elephant. No matter what anyone see's or say's , and your reading this from an anorexic,so heah!!!
Well Bye
mary-kate i like you two of a kind series you are lucky to have a twin sister
Posted by: favour on October 29, 2004 07:12 AMAnorexia is a disease like alcoholism is a disease like smoking is a disease. None of them are. I'm sorry, you don't have to try so hard to get breast cancer, or lieukemia, which are diseases. You don't go out of your way and really work hard to get a disease. It is unfortunate, it is an addiction of sorts, but disease it is not. That is merely one more way of making these things "ok" in our newly politically correct world and its disgusting. You don't walk by a heroin addict and tell them how sorry you are about their "disease" let's move on people and call a spade a spade. When we realize that these actions are conscious choices of the people who do them, maybe something will finally be able to be done about it all.
Posted by: devil's advocate on November 1, 2004 02:34 AMEating disorders are not about food, or really even about 'being' fat. They are a preoccupation with perfection and control. A way to deal with things that are internal. It is really all quite nihilistic.
I was diagnosed with anorexia two years ago and battle with that and bulimia to this very day. In fact, I do not say I am a person with anorexia. I say anorexia has me. It is a mental illness, yes.
Naturally, it doesn't surprise me that Mary Kate has anorexia either. Even Ashley is too thin. Everyone in Hollywood is, which is why, as a generalisation I dispise Hollywood/the Media.
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