ELLEN, journalist and anti-athlete: A new friend in his 30s and I celebrated the birth of his fourth child over lunch. I expected him to tell me how tired he was and how disrupting a fourth baby was to a family with a 6-year-old and twin 5-year-olds. “It’s been a great seven weeks,” he said of life with the newborn. I asked him about his schedule. He and his wife get up at 5 a.m. with the baby and then his wife, only seven weeks postpartum, GOES FOR A LONG RUN.

I was still in my bathrobe seven weeks after my girls were born. My friend says that his wife keeps on her program because she runs with a friend. I need a friend like this.

When you are trying to change your life, you need a plan that fits your personality. I read once that experts find exercise plans are most useful if they are tailored to your personality. In this particular study, they identified two basic types of exercise plans: one for the social exerciser and one for the solo exerciser.

The social folks like classes and will get up at 5 a.m. to go running with their friends.

The solos would rather take walks by themselves or don their headphones at a treadmill.

Some thoughtful self-assessment about the kind of person you are might help you tailor a workout or food plan to your life.

As a profound extrovert, I can’t lose weight unless I go to a program like Weight Watchers and chat with the people in the class. I don’t exercise unless I am part of a class or a gym that has a social atmosphere.

But I also know people who do Weight Watchers online or who prefer long runs in the countryside.

One of the reasons we created girlfriends as a blog was so that whether you are a social or solo personality, you have a place here. Tell us how you think we are doing by clicking on Add Your Own below.

Tell us if you are a solo or social type. Tell us how we can help you with your program. Share with us any Web sites that you think will help you and others.

HEATHER, athlete and personal trainer: One word - APPOINTMENT - answers this week’s question. Our society is extremely time-oriented. Everything from sealing a multimillion-dollar deal to taking the kids to Little League is scheduled down to the minute. Therefore, your fitness or exercise plan must be placed in your Palm Pilot, along with the other things on the daily agenda. Make an appointment with yourself or, better yet, a training partner to engage in a specific form of exercise, for an allotted period of time. For example, I am a personal trainer, and I schedule a specific time on Tuesdays and Fridays with another one of our staff to do strength training. One would think that since I spend two-thirds of my day in a personal training studio with state-of-the-art equipment, that fitness would be an accessible endeavor. While it is accessible, exercise does not happen without some challenges. Just as any professional, there is always work to be done that can side track me from my personal quest for exercise. By setting this time aside, it forces me to make myself and my body a priority even during a busy day.

Now that you have set aside a specific time for your exercise, you must choose something that you enjoy. Don't be afraid to experiment with different forms of exercise. As I mentioned in my last column, there are three components that one should be striving to address in an exercise program - strength training, cardiovascular training and flexibility. Find something that you like. And if it ceases to be enjoyable, investigate something new!

If you are unsure of what to do or how to get started, find a fitness professional who can assist you. We think nothing of spending $40 to $75 on a dinner out, manicure or haircut. While not everyone can regularly afford a personal trainer or fitness consultant, why not make the investment in your body at least once to insure that you are exercising safely and efficiently?

Next, keep a record of your progress to insure that you are continually pushing your body to its highest level. Take into consideration that you are not always going to have "the best" workout of your life, but to always try to get the best that you and your body have to offer on that specific day. Reward yourself for your accomplishments. Remember, your results do not always have to be numeric. Finally, listen to your body. If it needs a day off, give yourself the rest that you need.

Don't let another opportunity to actively pursue health pass you by. Make an appointment with yourself today.

BARBARA, arts, educational & cultural consultant: Your question holds a key to the answer because lifestyle change is a journey. When you expect to go on a business trip or a journey, you plan it down to specific details. Likewise, you are embarking on a life-changing trip where planning and recording are crucial to the outcome.

Keep a journal, log or chart of the food you eat, as well as other related behaviors that affect how you eat. Effective journaling should include: the date, meal, time of day, your mood, location, and the number of people who dined with you. Most healthy eating plans or books have built-in monitoring components.

Be honest with your recording. If you ate it, write it down. Remember, your body is like a calculator. It computes all that you take in.

But don't beat up on yourself if you overindulge now and then. Use food exchanges to compensate for the overindulgence. Say, you ate that super-size candy bar for lunch. Then, eat some fruit or yogurt for your snack and have a sensible dinner. You'll find that that calculator body of yours knows how to make adjustments too.

Behavior modification is planning what you eat and how often, and it's one lifestyle change that will make all the difference. It's taking the old quote "Food for thought" literally. Ellen recently shared a great meal plan with the Girlfriends. It was called Crave One, Add Two. I think it is a simple way to kick-start a lifestyle change for those of us who are having trouble giving up our favorite foods.

Remember to stay positive. Find an affirmation that inspires and redirects you and post it everywhere. I like this one: "I am healthy, trim and strong." There's no magic pixie dust that you can sprinkle to get good health and fitness. So, start planning and recording what you eat and how. Eat three healthy meals a day with two to three smart snacks to reduce hunger and overeating.

Concentrate on eating or talking. Eat slowly and savor the flavor of each mouthful.

Think positive, enjoy the trip and drop us a postcard, from time to time, to let us know how you're doing.

ELLEN, journalist and anti-athlete: At a recent forum in Philadelphia, Dr. Pamela Peeke addressed the controversy of aerobic exercise vs. weight training with a simple phrase: Move, mouth, muscle. You need all three, said Peeke, an internationally known physician.

Heather and Barbara air out these issues well in their columns this week. So, I’ll be brief. Peeke’s experience training athletes and bigwigs in nutrition and exercise gives her a compelling argument. You can read more about her and get other health experts’ takes on women’s wellness at www.lluminari.com.

This Web site touts the LLuminari network founded by Elizabeth Browning, a former Dupont exec who lives in Delaware, about 20 minutes from Philadelphia. The organization focuses on women’s health and wellness issues and provides speakers and sources for newspapers, magazines, television and cable.

Reading about fitness is helpful. But I find that if I am not on some sort of an eating program, I am likely to fall off the wagon on the exercise program. I’ve mentioned the Spark People before. They have a system in which you can set goals and help yourself maintain them via the Internet. Their address is: sparkpeople.com.

My favorite eating plan is Weight Watchers. They have a great Web site, weightwatchers.com, and I personally enjoy the face-to-face interaction of the Weight Watchers at Work.

In other news, we got two responses last week for the spa certificate. We asked if you had any suggestions on how to help young people get interested in fitness. I’m going to keep that contest open for another week to see if more creativity emerges. We do have one good answer and we have one fitness expert who offers her Pilates classes. Any more ideas out there after a snowbound few days?? Click on Add Your Own and win a chance for a $25 spa certificate!!

HEATHER, athlete and personal trainer: Exercise helps manage coronary heart disease, lower high blood pressure, and reduce the risk of diabetes and obesity. It also helps manage mental illness and reduce the risk of colon cancer and stroke.

There is great debate, however, over which form of exercise - strength training or aerobic training - is the most beneficial.

Studies show that aerobics help lower the resting heart rate, lower triglycerides and positively affect blood lipid profiles. Studies also indicate that strength training improves bone density and glucose metabolism, and decreases body weight and fat mass.

Both play a strong role in the prevention of non-insulin-dependent mellitus. But controversy has arisen in the fitness industry as researchers are finding that long-term participants of aerobics training are not getting the aesthetic results they seek and are suffering more injuries than those who rely on strength training. Advocates of strength training claim that high-force activity such as running damages knees, hips and the back. Additionally, experts claim that for every pound of lean muscle mass created through strength training, the human body will burn an additional 75 to 100 calories per day while at rest.

So, which is better strength training or aerobics?

As I stated in last week's column, whatever form of exercise you choose, there must be a level of progressive resistance. The human body is a magnificent machine and will adapt to the stimulus that is presented. Simply walking one or two miles a day with the same pace and same level of intensity, while better than nothing, does not challenge the body cardiovascularly. Likewise, lifting 10-pound weights, every other day, in the same exercise routine will yield no significant strength or muscle mass gains after the initial inception of the program.

Additionally, one modality of exercise will not be an end all prescription for fitness success. Your fitness regimen should include cardiovascular, strength, and flexibility components.

Focus on one component at a time and progressively increase its intensity. Remember, an extreme of anything places your body at risk for injury. Strength training the front side of your body, otherwise known as "the beach muscles," while ignoring the back side places your joints and body at risk for injury.

Likewise, running five to 10 miles per day for most people is an extreme situation and will result in an overuse injury.

I personally strength train two to three times per week, using a high-intensity protocol. This type of program has been shown to be the most effective for building lean muscle mass, while yielding the least injuries. I do cardiovascular training three to four times per week for 30 to 40 minutes at a moderate intensity with various modalities. Finally, I try to participate in a formal yoga class once a week and work on flexibility in general at least twice a week.

Find a balanced program that works for you. The studies are consistent in that exercise is one of the many controllable keys to better health.

BARBARA, arts, educational & cultural consultant: If you want total fitness, you need an all inclusive plan. It must include a healthy food plan, regular cardio-respiratory workouts (aerobics), weight training (anaerobic) and activities for relaxation and stretching.

Getting back to your weight training vs. aerobic question, I'm not an expert, but I'll share my recent experiences.

I'd been weight training for several months, and I was noticing a big difference. My weight was in a constant state of redistribution. My huge hips and buttocks were smaller and firmer, my back and waist were slimmer and my legs and arms were starting to look quite athletic as the fitness genie in me began to emerge.

The problem was, I was still too heavy for my height and body type. That's because my plan of weight training alone was incomplete.

In fact, no amount of weight training will result in weight loss. Only aerobics and dietary changes can do it.

Cardio-respiratory or aerobic fitness is your body's ability to use oxygen to produce energy, according to “I Need to get in Shape, Now What?!” by Carol Leonetti Dannhauser and Susan Michaelson Warren.

Aerobic exercise is continuous and rhythmic physical motion using large muscle groups, the book says. It challenges your circulatory and respiratory systems, keeping your heart pumping at an elevated, steady rate for an extended period. Aerobic exercises make your heart stronger and more efficient. They also help you maintain or lose weight.

Aerobic fitness is what gives you the energy to do an activity for a prolonged period - walking two miles or swimming 10 laps.

Anaerobic fitness, on the other hand, is how well your body draws stored energy that doesn't require oxygen. It's what you use for short bursts of activity such as running to catch a train or weight training. Regular aerobic exercise helps increase your anaerobic fitness.

Aerobic exercise is constant motion and low intensity. Walking, cycling, jogging, swimming, cross-country skiing, dancing, gardening, housekeeping and aerobic classes are examples.

Anaerobic exercise is short time periods with high intensity and high resistance. Examples include sprinting, racquetball, downhill skiing, softball, soccer and football.

To greatly improve health and heart fitness, plan intense aerobic exercise for 30 to 60 minutes, three to five times each week. You can break up sessions into two 15-minute sessions.

A variety of aerobic choices exist today including step aerobics, kick aerobics, water aerobics, traditional aerobics and more. If you have ever thought, I could never jog, cross-country ski or dance, then I recommend water aerobics.

Water aerobics has taken aerobics to a higher level. Water is 12 times stronger than air or gravity. So, an hour of water aerobics is 12 times more beneficial than some other forms of exercise.

The aquatic workout improves cardio-vascular fitness (heart and lungs); improves motivation and self-esteem; allows one to exercise all the muscles and joints in the body at once; reduces tension and stress; increases strength, muscle toning and flexibility; and aids in weight loss.

In addition, water cools the body during your entire workout; anyone can do water aerobics; water makes the body buoyant, reducing joint and muscle stress and strain; and you don’t have to be a swimmer - floatation devices are welcome - to do it.

I began water aerobics recently with some friends at my local "Y", and I love it. We meet for one hour, twice a week. We do jogging, swimming and skiing motions along with calisthenics, cross-country, and weight workouts all under water. We use flotation devices, rubber balls and aquatic noodles. When the session ends, I feel revived and refreshed.

I say try some form of aerobics along with a healthy food plan for weight loss. Make sure your aerobics choice is fun for you, so you have a better chance of sticking with it.

You'll really like it and I know you'll like the results.

There is lots of new equipment available for water aerobics. Ryka, an athletic shoe company specializing in women's shoes, sells aquatic sneakers. Check the Internet for sources. Some helpful sites include:

ELLEN, journalist and anti-athlete: Every year, we have two celebrations at our house on Valentine’s Day. My husband, an unrepentant romantic, decorates the house and usually bakes a cake for Feb. 14. If I don’t get him a sappy card, he is hurt. So, this is a big holiday for us - even after 18 years of marriage.

We often celebrate my second daughter’s birthday at the same time. Maura will be 15 Feb. 13.

Reading Heather and Barbara’s entries this week reminded me that we have major league heart disease on both sides of our families. So, the woman I’d like to do something special for this Valentine’s Day is our Maura.

We have not done a great job of encouraging our two daughters to build exercise into their lives. We are doing a lot better this year with Heather and her colleagues’ help. The only exercise my daughters seem to enjoy is weight training. So, we are making sure they get a chance to do this twice a week.

I’m wondering, after reading this week’s entries, if there are people out there with good ideas on how to help the little women around the Valentine table. Perhaps if we start with them earlier in life, we can avoid heart disease as they grow older.

Our question this week comes from someone quite a bit older than Maura. I think she would agree that whether you are 15 or 29, starting a fitness program is difficult. But it also is helpful. You are never too old to start.

With rates of obesity exponentially increasing with young people, I’m going to devote some energy there.

To get inspiration for ideas on how to start a heart healthy lifestyle, go to www.prevention.com for its Valentine’s Day newsletter. The thyroid channel at about.com also has some interesting news on heart care for those with hypothyroidism.

Click on Add Your Own below and give the Girlfriends your best idea for young people’s heart-healthy fitness. We’ll give the person with the best idea one of our spa gift certificates worth $25 at many area spas.

HEATHER, athlete and personal trainer: Cardiovascular disease is the leading killer among all Americans, accounting for 39 percent of deaths annually, according to the American Heart Association.

It also is the leading cause of death for both African-American men and women, with 100,000 people dying annually, the AHA says.

But it is women who appear to be at the greatest risk as heart attack is our number one killer.

To help a woman you love keep her heart healthy, urge blood pressure and heart-rate monitoring and promote exercise - walking the dog, cleaning the house or raking the leaves are good places to start.

Also, help educate her on how her heart works. Begin with a discussion of some heart fundamentals.

When your heart beats, it pumps blood to the arteries and creates pressure in them. This pressure, called blood pressure, results from two forces. The first force - created as blood pumps into the arteries and through the circulatory system - is known as systolic pressure and is the first number given in a blood pressure reading. The second force - created as the arteries resist the blood flow - is known as diastolic pressure. A normal blood pressure should be less than 140/90 mm Hg for an adult.

Taking your blood pressure is a simple method of determining whether you may have a problem with your heart. It is also a necessary step before beginning any exercise program.

Your heart beats about 60 to 80 times a minute under normal conditions. To obtain your resting heart rate, begin by counting the beats while you are at rest for 10 seconds and multiply that number by six.

After you have been cleared by a physician, the first step to beginning a cardiovascular exercise program is to increase your resting heart rate. Thus, we must not only get moving, but gradually increase the intensity of that movement to strengthen our hearts.

Next, we must determine how hard we need to work to provide progressive stimulus to our heart muscle. That goal is called a target heart rate and allows us to measure initial fitness level and monitor our progress in a fitness program. This approach requires measuring your pulse periodically as you exercise and staying within 50 to 75 percent of your maximum heart rate. Your maximum heart rate is approximately 220 minus your age. For example, a 40-year-old person should have a maximum heart rate of 180 beats per minute and a target heart rate of between 90 to 135 beats per minute.

Exercise requires progressive resistance to increase the strength of your heart or any other muscle for that matter. So, if you take a 30-minute walk daily, your body will eventually adapt to that stimulus, which has now changed your original form of exercise to recreation. Once the walk does not help you reach your target heart rate, you must find a way to challenge or "exercise" your body again. Your challenge could be to slightly increase your pace or change your exercise route to include some hills.

Once you have made this conscious effort to stimulate your cardiovascular system, continue to challenge your heart and your body to do more. Choose an activity you enjoy, but remember muscles adapt and must be pushed. Give the gift of heart health this Valentine's Day, pass on the chocolates and go for a brisk walk instead.

BARBARA, arts, educational & cultural consultant: Did you say you want to help a woman you love? Do you really mean it? Well, if you do, listen to me.

What the world needs now is love, sweet love. I'm not talking about candy, ice cream and heart-shaped cakes and doughnuts. I'm talking about sincere, symbolic actions instead of sabotage. Improve that special woman's health by encouraging her to exercise and eat heart-smart foods.

Heart-smart foods are low saturated fat, high protein, high fiber, low salt and reduced carbohydrates.

Whole grain breads and cereals, brown rice, veggies, low saturated fat, low - fat dairy products and lean protein such as fish and poultry are all healthy heart choices.

I also recommend that you remind her to be cholesterol conscious. Cholesterol, a waxy, fat-like substance called lipids, is needed for cell membranes, insulation of nerves and hormone protection. It helps the liver make bile acids to aid food digestion. Eighty percent of our cholesterol is made by the body. I call that the "inmake" cholesterol. The other 20 percent comes from cholesterol in animal products that we eat such as meat, poultry, fish, eggs, butter, cheese and whole milk. I call that the "intake" cholesterol.

Special carriers called lipoproteins transport cholesterol and other fats, which can not be dissolved in the blood. Low-density lipoprotein (LDL) is considered bad cholesterol because too much of it can clog the arteries, increasing the risk of heart attack or stroke. High density lipoprotein (HDL) is considered good cholesterol because it is believed to carry the bad cholesterol away from the blood vessel, reducing the risk of heart attack or stroke.

Problems occur when we take in excessive amounts of refined or processed foods such as white bread, cookies, cakes, pasta and pastries. The body can't burn the excess, which causes a physical slow down.

In the U.S., high cholesterol, refined foods are the main part of the diet. That should convince you that we are in need of a paradigm shift. So, pick foods from the good list above. They will benefit any woman you love, and they will benefit you.

As we move into an age of amazing technological advances, let's slow down and do some self-analyses. For the heart-conscious, and we all need to be heart-conscious these days, we are what we eat and we reap what we sow. So, this year, on Valentine's Day and every other day, do things that show you really care. Choose the gift of health! Choose the gift of life! Show a real gift of love! Here are a few of Barbara's "Heart-i-ly Approved Gifts":

ELLEN, journalist and anti-athlete: I am the last person to give anyone advice on ergonomics. I have a special chair that has more levers than a hospital bed. I have a device that prompts me to get up each hour to move around. I have a special keyboard with an attachment that holds a ball I can squeeze each hour. My desk cranks up and down. And I have a box under my computer station that I use for my feet. Our workplace offers yoga classes and has a gym in the basement.

And with all this, I still have pain in my shoulder, arm and hand.

You can have all the tools in the world to help you avoid pain. You also have to have the right attitude.

A doctor once told me, "Choose health."

American women in particular have been trained to choose others first or to choose work.

It seems to me that we need to give women permission to get up and move around. Or, we need to put up signs around the workplace that say, "Choose health."

I’d love to hear what you need from your bosses in order to help you get your head set in a mode to choose health and make sure that your work is not literally a pain in the neck. Click on Add a Comment and tell us.

HEATHER, athlete and personal trainer: Work-related injuries such as strains and sprains affect 1 million employees a year and cost over $45 billion annually in compensation expenditure, lost wages and productivity loss.

However, such injuries can be prevented by stretching, moving around, taking steps to ergonomically design your work space and strengthening the muscles that allow you to maintain proper posture.

Ergonomics is the science of designing work stations, tools, and work tasks so that individuals are safe, efficient, and comfortable in their work environments. An ergonomic design should reduce the discomfort and injuries associated with work situations. Typically, ergonomic risk factors occur because of awkward body position, excessive repetition or force, contact stress and or vibration. These risk factors lead to injuries called musculoskeletal disorders, which affect muscles, tendons, ligaments, joints, nerves and discs.

Prevention is critical to keeping your body free from situations that may result in musculoskeletal injuries. Flexibility, strength, and movement in general are all areas that you can control to help prevent injury. If you are seated for a majority of your day, I recommend getting up out of your chair every 30-45 minutes for, at the very least, a brief stretch.

Stretches can include:

BARBARA, arts, educational & cultural consultant: Work stations and work environments affect individuals differently. Variables include occupation, age, gender, physical conditions and physical limitations. "One size does not fit all."

That brings us to the question of the chair. The one you’re sitting in most of the day may be contributing to potential health problems. Besides optimal upper and lower back support, other things to consider include seat height, arm rests and maneuverability.

If your chair seems to be an improper match, you may request a more suitable one from your employer.

For home use, many ergonomically correct chairs are available at office supply stores and online. But I suggest you try some to ensure you get the one that fits your body type, height, weight, torso and leg length.

To stave off injury, also consider the height of your work surface and the position of your computer monitor, mouse and keyboard, and make the necessary adjustments.

In addition, I recommend stretching - something you can do anytime, anywhere. "Stretching is a wonderful way to relax," says Strong Women, Strong Bones author Miriam E. Nelson, “and it helps prevent injury and maintain flexibility. Furthermore, stretching helps reduce back pain ... and other aches and pains." Nelson says stretching is necessary after you strength-train or do aerobic exercise. But you can stretch as often as you please.

"A stretch is one of my favorite pick-me-ups when I’m working at my computer," says the author. "I take a two-minute stretch break every hour to remove the tension from my neck, back and shoulders. It’s a real revitalizer that makes me feel good all over."

As your fitness advocate, I also recommend 30 to 60 minutes of exercise, at least three days a week. Include weight-bearing exercise, aerobics and a stress-relieving or relaxation exercise like yoga in your routine.

People all over the world are affected by ergonomics. Your questions about the issue are part of a growing concern. In fact, ergonomics is big business: Nonprofit, government and private agencies, small businesses, corporations, insurers, legislators and unions have been addressing various aspects of this subject for many years to improve productivity by the safest means.

All the concern stems from scientific evidence showing that musculoskeletal disorders of the lower back and upper extremities can be attributed to particular jobs and working conditions including heavy lifting, repetitive and forceful motions, and stressful work environments.

Each year these disorders affect about 1 million workers and cost the nation between $45 billion and $54 billion in compensation expenditure, lost wages, and decreased productivity. But the problem can be reduced with well-designed intervention programs.

Lower back pain, tendonitis, nonspecific wrist complaints and carpal tunnel syndrome are among the disorders that have considerable social and economic impact, with back pain making up the overwhelming share of reported problems. Scientific evidence and industry data strongly indicate that properly implemented strategies to reduce the incidence, severity, and consequences of work-related musculoskeletal disorders can be effective.

Girlfriends, become an advocate for wellness and safety on the job. You’ll be part of a growing movement that will benefit the entire work culture.