HEATHER, athlete and personal trainer: Brides-to-be are some of the most focused individuals I have had the pleasure of training. Most come to me in a panic hoping to shave unwanted pounds and firm up weaker areas of their bodies - primarily those areas left exposed by the wedding gown. So far, all have achieved their goals of attaining toned, beautiful bodies for their wedding day.

Let me share some of their secrets with you. First and foremost, these brides made a decision to actively pursue fitness. They did so by hiring me as their trainer. I became their militant exercise compliance officer and never let them stray from the desired goal. Now, not everyone has the resources for a trainer. So, your first step is to enlist a family member or friend who will provide you with some “tough love” and much needed support throughout this process.

Next, you must plan ahead. Don’t march into my fitness facility or beg a friend to help whip you into shape two weeks before the wedding and expect us to make miracles. It simply can’t and won’t happen! Your body needs at least eight weeks for any significant changes to occur. If you have a lot of weight to lose, it will take longer. Remember, your body can safely lose one to two pounds per week.

Third, get your partner on your fitness and nutrition regimen. It is not fair for him to munch on burgers and drink beer while you struggle with celery and water. Sharing in health and wellness is the key to your success as well as to a healthy future as a couple.

Finally, remember weight loss is a behavior change, not a magic diet, pill or set of exercises. If you don’t know what types of exercises you should be doing, spend $50 and hire a trainer to show you. Likewise, if you need a nutritional evaluation, take the time to get an expert’s advice. Budget the cost of a trainer, nutritionist or gym membership into your wedding’s financial forecast.

Best wishes on your wedding day, and stay healthy and fit in your cherished years to come!

BARBARA, arts, educational & cultural consultant: You're getting married. How wonderful! You have made a decision to share your life with another. Friends and family extend well-wishes to you as you anticipate and prepare for the big day.

Planning a wedding, though exciting, can be cause for anxiety. So, it's important to find ways to avoid or relieve the stressors. By implementing a plan, you'll be better prepared for the wedding day and the years to come.

Begin by establishing priorities. Yes, put yourself and your physical and emotional health first. Make time to walk, run, cycle, exercise, dance or swim regularly to relieve stress and provide a feeling of well-being. Listen to music that picks you up when you're down. Al Jarreau does it for me every time. Laugh more. Catch a funny flick, rent a funny video, read the comics or visit a card shop, read the humorous cards and chuckle the rest of the day. Laughter and finding the humor in things will help you survive many marital conflicts.

Next, consider your eating habits. Prepare healthy snacks ahead of time to avoid sabotaging binges. Keep fresh fruits on hand. They're better for you than canned ones. Put your snacks in baggies or plastic wrap the night before. Try these combinations - baby carrots and celery; carrot coins, raisins and crackers; peanut butter crackers and a pear; an apple and two rice cakes with all-fruit spread; cucumber slices and saltines with low-fat cream cheese; grapes and tuna on one slice of whole-grain bread. Don't shortchange your good nutrition. Taking in the right foods in the right proportions will make you feel better.

Plan your drinks. Drink more water. It's a natural body cleanser and an aid to good health and weight loss. Avoid sodas, punch and caffeine to relieve anxiety. You may shed a few pounds, too. Instead, try hot herbal teas for relaxation.

When the big day comes, you'll look radiant in that wedding gown, and you'll have established some healthy habits too.

ELLEN, journalist and anti-athlete: In the bad old days, when I was getting married, several of my mother's friends had showers for me that involved kitchen themes. There was lots of emphasis on what food to serve at the wedding and the showers and lots of talk on how to prepare food for my husband-to-be. I remember lots of cake and Mimosas (champagne and orange juice).

I would have loved a spa shower or a fitness shower that gave me the tools to keep my weight and my stress at bay. I’m wondering what such a shower would look like in these liberating times. Mothers and bridesmaids in white robes at a spa drinking iced Perrier and pondering abs routines? A picnic at the top of a hiking trail with watercress sandwich ingredients pulled from the local creek? A gift basket that includes sessions with a personal trainer or a video of one of the better workout tapes? A year’s supply of bottled water delivered to your home?

Click on Add your own below to tell me what you would like as a dream fitness shower. It may give someone an idea of how to give you a treat. You can even post your wish under a fake name and then nonchalantly suggest that your bridesmaids check out the comments at Girlfriends this week! The best idea will earn you a $25 gift certificate to a local spa.

June 30, I will be married 19 years. It seems just like yesterday I was dolled up in my Princess Di knockoff gown.

The pre-wedding planning was one of the most stressful times in my life. I wish, as a bride, I knew Barbara and Heather. I could have used a strict regimen and supportive friends pushing me toward exercise and drinking lots of water. In my time, we handled stress by not eating and by drinking way too much alcohol. This just added to the toll of pretending nothing was troubling me as I slogged through my 40-plus-hour-a-week job and tried to help my mother plan a party for 300 of our best friends (76 were first cousins from each side of the aisle) while I lived several hours from the location of my wedding.

I imagine it’s not all that different for brides these days. In fact, it may be harder with the economy in a slump and the ever-increasing distance most of us live from our moms and dads, if they even live in the same place.

I do remember my wedding as one of the best days of my life. It was the first time I had done something that my mother approved of, and I was thrilled to have found a guy who could put up with my wild dreams of being a career woman. (In those days, in the Midwest, that was not exactly mainstream.) I was also looking forward to having children and pioneering a new kind of family in which both of us would be equal partners.

Just thinking of that time makes me feel jubilant. And while we’ve had our ups and downs, and my life has fallen somewhat short of those wild dreams, I am glad to have done the wedding up right. I hope all you brides out there set up your day so that you can feel like me two decades later.

Within six weeks of my Princess Di Day, our first child was on her way, and as that annoying commercial says, “Children change everything.” (I can hear every parent of a teenager saying a collective “Duh” whenever I watch that.) I am looking forward to my daughers’ wedding days several years from now, and I hope I can use my own advice and Heather and Barbara’s friendship to make sure I send them off to chase their own dreams with a healthy and fit headset.

BARBARA, arts, educational & cultural consultant: At some point in life, 80% of the population will suffer back problems. Next to the cold and flu, back problems are among the top reasons for employee absenteeism. Often, the problems result from work-related activity or accidents. Excess weight, genetics and age-associated conditions like arthritis and osteoporosis also contribute to back problems.

Exercise is often recommended to reduce or alleviate back problems. Heather mentions a Web site for specific exercises. Water aerobics and yoga are also therapeutic. Check the Internet, a good bookstore, a gym, your local “Y” or talk to a personal trainer to get started. Remember to check with your doctor before beginning any exercise program.

When you exercise, use proper form; lift weights properly; avoid sudden jerking; keep weights near the workout area to avoid excess movement; and do not bend forward when you lift to avoid spine injury and fractures.

Aids to Reducing Back Pain:

HEATHER, athlete and personal trainer: Your back is a balanced network of bones, ligaments, muscles and nerves. These components work together to balance and bear the weight of your body and the loads you carry. A number of factors may contribute to lower back pain, including poor muscle tone, excess weight, and improper or heavy lifting. In addition, poor posture and sitting or standing in one position for too long may also lead to or contribute to back pain.

Some common problems associated with the back are muscle strains, spasm, osteoarthritis, sciatic, osteoporosis, herniated disk, and fibromyalgia. You should see a doctor if any of the following situations occur:

BARBARA, arts, educational & cultural consultant: It’s the process of working out ... the let’s get physical factor that makes the difference.

If you can work out without using gadgets, that’s fine. But, if you feel you need a gadget or two, that’s fine. Just shop around before you buy. Gadgets can be costly and useless. Besides, you’ve got to be sure they fit into your lifestyle. If you won’t use it, don’t choose it.

Heather and Yvette, have the discipline and the fortitude to work out no matter what. Then, there are people like Ellen and I, who need a lot more help. We need the support of membership in a group, a gym or a club. But, when working out on your own, gadgets can provide some of the motivation it takes to help keep you going.

Katrina Watson, assistant store manager at Modell’s - Cheltenham in Wyncote, was very helpful when I asked her to talk about a few of the hottest gadgets. Watson said, “A lot of women are power walking and walking in groups. By using a pedometer, they time their miles per day and keep track of their calories burned, distance, steps and time. Pedometers are available in manual and electronic styles.”

Watson recommends a basic pedometer for beginners and a more sophisticated one for serious walkers.

Another hot item, according to Watson, is the solar suit and solar belt by Bollinger.

“Lots of people claim to work out in the suit and belt. This makes them lose excess water. The suit comes in different sizes, and some people come back to purchase smaller suits as they reduce in size.”

Watson suggests you make sure you buy one that is large enough to let you move freely.

Finally, she says, more and more women are taking boxing lessons and are coming in for boxing gloves. Who knew!

So what’s my take on the idea of gadgets? For some of us, gadgets are necessary. I broke down and purchased some new gadgets - a pedometer, a solar suit and a solar belt plus some new sneakers and a cute pair of walking pants. They’ll help me with stamina for my walking plan. So, I got some good information from Katrina, and I spent a little cash on gadgets.

HEATHER, athlete and personal trainer: To be quite honest, I am not into fitness gadgets. For those of you who know me, you recognize that I would rather invest in a new pair of sneakers than tech equipment any day.

However, upon further research, I found that there are quite a few fun and unique fitness accessories on the market.

The first one I came across was the Sharper Image Talking Pedometer. The pedometer is smaller than a pager and measures the distance you’ve walked or run in steps/miles. The user sets the average length of his or her stride, and the pedometer displays the number of steps taken and informs you of your accumulated mileage. It clips to your shirt or waistband and retails for about $25. Since the weather has finally broken, I have again taken up walking the local trail. Thus, this handy gadget is a great way to calculate my mileage. It would also be interesting to wear for the day to see how many miles one treks around the office. I am also wondering if the Sharper Image can create downloadable programs to inspire and motivate its users.

My second gadget pick is the Braun PrecisionSensor BP 2550. Many of my clients have high blood pressure or heart concerns, so this mechanism is helpful as it keeps tabs on your blood pressure and heart rate quickly and easily. The gadget is a wrist-mounted monitor that retails for $80. The BP 2550 looks like a gigantic watch with a large LCD display, two big blue and red buttons, and a European-looking modern design. It’s simple to use, and measurements are accurate if used correctly. Measurements, date, and time can be saved for two users. This is a nice tool for those who need to keep track of their blood pressure away from the doctor’s office.

Next, I found the Heart Smart Bra on the Internet. The Polar Heart Bra which retails for $35 is an easy and comfortable way to wear your heart rate monitor transmitter strap. This bra doubles as a convenient and fashionable chest transmitter holder. It can be worn with or without the transmitter strap in case you choose to exercise without your monitor. The monitor and transmitter are not included.

Finally, the HealthWatch is an easy-to-use, simple-to-program watch that reminds you about medication time, prescription refills or home health tests. What makes it unique and more valuable than other portable reminder systems is that it not only beeps to let you know it’s time for your medication, but the digital read-out specifies the medication and which doses you have to take. You may even want to program it to remind you of simple things like to drink more water or to get up and stretch throughout the day!

Inventors are constantly coming out with updated gadgets for just about any fitness issue. Be sure you do a little research before making purchases. And remember your results are a direct reflection of your work ethic, not the number or type of gadgets you own.

ELLEN, journalist and anti-athlete: I love gadgets. I have a whole shelf of them in my basement. I’ve got a couple more in the garage and some in my bedroom closet.

I’m also one of those people who has a treadmill in the basement and a recumbent bike. The treadmill is used to drape laundry to dry, and the recumbent bike has been loaned out for several months. Like I don’t need to use it. Right.

Heather’s correct. Gadgets don’t work for most people - including me. I absolutely must belong to a gym where I am forced to mindlessly sign on to a program and commit to it several days a week. I also can’t lose weight unless I join Weight Watchers. Finally, I need to chant to myself, “Choose Health!” when I need to decide whether to stay late at work or go work out at the gym. I am embarrassed by this because people like our editor Yvette Ousley has the discipline to do this in her basement with two little kids running around!

Now, I do know some people who are gadget-aholics. And while the gadgets don’t help, talking about buying the gadget and shopping around for the gadget and then installing the gadget are all very successful ways of getting yourself prepared to change your behaviors or enhance your life. Just don’t fool yourself that there is not a next step: You’ve got to use the gadget and invest some hard work and time into a sensible plan that involves moving your bod. Yadda, yadda, yadda.

Here’s the good news: The fact that you are reading this and thinking about fitness is a good first step. Or perhaps checking in with the girlfriends is a way to keep yourself doing the hard work of taking care of yourself.

So, pat yourself on the back, and get out there and move! You know it feels great when you are finished with that workout. Note the words we use when we talk about our fitness plan. It is a WORK out. So, do the work - whether you use a gadget or not - and you’ll see the results! Then, hit Add a Comment and tell me about it.

BARBARA, arts, educational & cultural consultant: Think about giving a non-traditional gift to your mother this year. Consider things that promote good health and fitness.

Instead of taking her to a restaurant, pick up a gift certificate from a special store like Whole Foods Markets, Trader Joe's or your favorite produce store. Plan to go to the store the day she does, so you can spend quality time together. Your mom will find an amazing range of produce, meats, fish, cheeses and breads there. Skin care and beauty products are also available.

If your mom likes to garden, there are several suggestions. Give your mother a card that offers your services as a gardening buddy. Go with her to the garden store in the spring and purchase bulbs or perennials. Then, return to mom's and help her plant them. As summer approaches, help plant a bed of annuals. Once fall arrives, help mom select hardy mums, more bulbs, winter pansies and ornamental cabbages or kale. Place three to five bulbs under each cabbage. This will offer a nice surprise next spring when the bulbs bloom.

Gardening is a good form of exercise and the rewards of your shared labor will yield a bounty of gifts.

If your mom likes physical activity, sign her up for tai chi or water aerobics. Another suggestion is to participate in the annual Race for the Cure.

HEATHER, athlete and personal trainer: Dear Mom,

Early one Saturday morning, 31 years ago, you became a "Mom" for the first time. You truly are the best Mom in the world, and I appreciate all that you have done for me. Thank you for not only bringing me into this world, but for putting up with all of my antics and helping me become the person I am today.

OK - enough of the sappy stuff! When I was first asked about this week's topic, I knew instantly which gift I wanted to give to you for Mother's Day. As you know, we have talked many times about the value and importance of participating in strength training and a regular exercise program. Strength training and exercise helps with osteoporosis, weight reduction, the creation of lean muscle mass, stress reduction and a plethora of other things. Thus, my obvious gift to you would be a membership to the fitness facility of your choice.

However, upon further thought, I realized that my Mother's Day gift to you is completely incomplete. First and foremost, you (as do most people) need a partner to assist with motivational issues. So, not only will you receive a membership, but dad will be prodded off the couch as well. Next are the personal training sessions because God forbid either of you wind up injured through this process! Finally, I pledge to be your biggest supporter motivationally and instructionally.

This Mother's Day, I am giving the gift of access to fitness. A fancy dinner, sweet smelling perfume, new summer clothes are all wonderful gifts, but by giving a membership, an experience, and my support, I am hoping that your life will not only be extended, but the quality improved.

I wish you a wonderful Mother's Day. Thank you again for all you do and have done. I love you Mom and know that you can do it!

All my love,

Heather

ELLEN, journalist and anti-athlete: What I want for Mother’s Day is a kick in the butt from my two teenage daughters. I want them to take me hostage on a walk in the wood trails near our house or kidnap me on a guest pass to their gym. I really don’t care what it is as long as they are with me, and we are moving.

I really need their youthful energy and keen sense that life holds promise. I don’t want to be lectured or scolded or given another gift certificate. I want bodily contact that involves them linking their arms in mine and hoisting me out to some fun activities that involve walking and laughing.

I love Barbara’s suggestion about gardening tools. I need my daughters to be my garden tools, kneeling next to me in the weed patch.

I recently lost my father and then, in a freak coincidence, was hospitalized for a couple of days just after his death. I’m a little low on energy and the best gift that only my two firecrackers of kids can give me is their presence in my life. Too few mothers get this kind of gift from their kids. But I do remember a high school buddy telling me about how her daughter, who was a devoted runner, went out and bought my school pal the right kind of athletic shoes and then taught her how to use a treadmill as they trained to do some running together. My acquaintance never got to run with her daughter. The young woman died suddenly, not long after that, of a rare affliction. I’m not waiting around for another chance with my two darlings.

Yo! Daughters! I changed your diapers. I mushed up all those bananas for you. I took you to the malls all those Saturdays. Now, it’s time to give some of that energy back. Read Heather’s and Barbara’s columns and get the lead out --- with me in tow!