August 31, 2006

In the Senate, "Double Secret" Shenanigans

In the movie "Animal House" the evil Dean Wormer, in his incessant quest to get rid of the nuisance of the Delta fraternity, puts them on "Double Secret Probation." It was a completely made-up term, which just made his desperation even more hilarious. For the past few weeks in the United States Senate, some unnamed Senator (who we now know to be the Republican Senator from Alaska, Ted Stevens) has used something called a "secret hold" to kill some common-sense legislation. It would be as funny as Dean Wormer, if it weren't an actual Senate procedure, and if the bill weren't of such importance.

At issue is a bill sponsored by Senators Barack Obama (D-IL) and Tom Coburn (R-OK) which would open up the Federal books for citizens to see. A database, I might add, that would have have shown a total of 2.5 trillion dollars in spending last year alone. You'll never find two guys as completely at opposite sides of the political spectrum as Obama and Coburn, which only serves to highlight how non-partisan this legislation is.

The bill would require that all government contracts and grants be placed in a searchable online database (think Google), so that with the click of a mouse, citizens could find out how their tax money is being spent. The only losers if this bill should pass would be the special interests that get sweetheart deals from the Federal government because they flood the campaign coffers of elected officials.

Perhaps that is why Senator Stevens did not come forward until both Republicans and Democrats asked every member of the Senate if they were responsible for using an arcane rule to place a "secret hold" on the bill. Under the rules, this Senator never has to make him or herself known, and the legislation (which passed unanimously in the Senate Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee) can't move forward until the Senator lifts the hold.

Ellen Miller, who heads the Sunlight Foundation, a Washington group dedicated to a more open government, was quoted last week as saying "It really is a mystery, not only who did it, but what the rationale could possibly be and why they would go to the mat on this." Well, not such a mystery to me. Someone in the Senate has sold out the principles of a representative democracy to protect those moneyed interests that "negotiate" cockamamie deals like charging the Pentagon $500 for a hammer. It turns out that "someone" wanted to make sure that people did not get wind of $200 million being spent on a "bridge to nowhere" to serve 50 people or $450,000 to research baby food made with salmon (I could do a whole article on Senator Stevens' spending on salmon-related things alone). Sure, no one wants to know about their money being spent on absurd things like that while they watch the national guard being cut and a rise in minimum wage being blocked - you get my point: Priorities.

That’s why it's not a surprise that true conservative organizations, which are against bloated budgets, have also cried foul. Porkbusters.org, far from a liberal outlet, had started an online investigation to uncover the identity of the "secret Senator," and bring him or her to public light. Not quite as much as fun as Larry Flynt's "investigation," (remember that one?) but certainly of more public consequence.

Many citizens took part in the investigation and now that the culprit has been revealed I think we should all let him know how we feel.

Call Senator Ted Stevens @ (202)224-3004 or shoot him an e-mail.

I wrote this piece a few days ago and had not had the time to edit and post it. As I went through to make adjustments to bring it up to speed I noticed the following paragraph. Though my job as a commentator does not cultivate this, I must admit, there are sometimes when I am not happy to be right, and this is one such time. I hate that DC and its players, particularly the ones running the show right now, have become so predictable. Anyway, I will leave the graf as I wrote it on Monday.

    Here in Pennsylvania, both Senators Specter and Santorum have told constituents that they are absolutely not behind this shady deal. Santorum, in fact, is a cosponsor of the legislation. At the time of this writing, Porkbusters is focusing on five Senators who have not issued firm denials. They are Senators Ted Stevens (R-AK), Mike Crapo (R-ID), Judd Gregg (R-NH), Orrin Hatch (R-UT), and Robert Bennett (R-UT). My money is on Ted Stevens, the King of the infamous "Bridge to Nowhere" in Alaska. If there ever was a walking example of a waste of taxpayers' money, Stevens is it, and surely he has a lot to hide, that would be exposed by the database this legislation would mandate.

Regardless of who had been behind the hold, something like this should never be able to happen again. If a Senator wants to kill a bill, let them do it in public. The Senate should immediately abolish this “secret hold” rule, and make the repeal apply to this legislation.

The American people have every right to know who in their own government wants to withhold information from them. Ultimately, though, all we may have are our guesses, unless public pressure can change Senate rules and force this super-secret Senator out of the special interest closet. Don't keep your outrage over this "hold" rule a secret! Call your Senator today and let him or her know that you want it abolished ASAP or you may have to put a "hold" on your vote for them in the next election.

At the end of Animal House, the ragtag bunch of Delta House members foil Dean Wormer's "Double Secret Probation," and one of the final jokes is that John Belushi's character goes on to become, yes, "Senator Blutarsky." But here in the real world, it's no joke - it's time that citizens rise up and fight the Dean Wormers of the United States Senate, whoever they may be.

Resource:

One of the resources in our Action Center may be of help in tracking down the big spenders.

Citizens Against Government Waste tells you where your tax dollars are being wasted. I often look at it to see where pork can be cut to find money for things that I believe to be a priority. This is just the tip of the iceberg,which is why we so desperately need the database proposed.

UPDATE 9/1: Double Secret Probation - It's not just for Stevens anymore!



Link to this page