A 50-year-old Chinese woman has found that drinking rat urine does not increase her sexual urge, but it does give her bigger breasts.

A newspaper somewhere reported that rat-urine drinking was an old folk prescription. Or maybe that’s old-folk prescription.

The woman set bait in her pigsty, made her captive female rat urinate in a bowl, and drank the outcome.

She was later diagnosed with cyclomastopathy, which, according to one of our medical dictionaries, means “an affection of the mammae, presenting excessive connective tissue overgrowth or epithelial proliferation or both in response to growth stimuli or as a manifestation of abnormal involution following normal response.”

We should be able to explain that. We earned a medical degree from ... uh ... doctorshospital.com.

And we’ve always had an affection for mammae. How often have we sung that great old song, “Mammae, how I love you, how I love you,” etc.

What do you mean, Swanee? In the words of our beloved president, Who cares what you think?

Posted at May 11, 2004 10:59 AM