We Americans are so concerned about our own air security (which is a good thing, don't get us wrong) that we sometimes forget that other countries are having problems in that area, too.
Take Russia, for instance.
Just the other day a passenger aboard Russia's top airline was attacked and beaten.
The assailants? Two drunken flight attendants.
The passenger, a Mr. Chernopup, apparently complained abour poor service because the flight attendants were drinking. (You know Russians love their vodka.)
So the flight attendants beat him to a fare-thee-well.
The attendants must've started sousing even before giving the passengers the safety chat, you know: Location of the emergency exits and how to use them; how to use other passengers as float devices in case the plane plunges into an ocean, lake or creek; how to buckle your seat belt when you're smashed out of your gourd.
In fact, they might have been too drunk to give those valuable airline tips. After all, they didn't even start serving food until an hour and a half into the four-hour flight.
And when they did, they left more food on the floor of the aisle than they passed on to passengers.
Which upset Mr. Chernobyl, who asked for sober flight attendants.
Which upset his servers, who decided to pummel him.
As a real news site reported, "The entire crew of the flight" was temporarily dismissed "and a joint commission was investigating the incident."
We can assume that Russia soon will have a Homeland Security agency and that guards will create long lines by strip-searching passengers and smelling their breath.
Das vidania.

Posted at July 21, 2004 11:19 AM