"Join the Army, get a bigger (enter your inadequate body part here) for FREE!"
Yes, the New Military is giving members and their families plastic surgery, and you're paying for it.
We're not, because we don't pay taxes. It's a principle thing.
(Just kidding, IRS.)
But seriously. The U.S. armed forces are providing such things as face-lifts, breast enlargements, liposuction and nose jobs for "anyone wearing a uniform," according to a reliable source.
The article to which we refer did not mention other, ummmm, enhancements, but you know Marines are going to want the biggest of everything.
Before you get all huffy about your money going to give a Marine bigger breasts and a bigger baton, hear out this military spokesman.
"The surgeons have to have someone to practice on."
In fact, we can see a TV series coming out of this. Contestants compete for the opportunity to enlist in the service and get an extreme makeover while avoiding car bombs and kidnappers in the Greater Middle East.
It's got "hit" written all over it, doncha think?
Posted at July 22, 2004 11:51 AM
Hey how'd you know I was a sex addict? Just kidding :) And Punisher does seriously refer to my car and it's power, not anything S&M.
Posted by: Michael Syravong on July 24, 2004 05:26 AMdang it I commented on the wrong entry. I meant to do the one above about me :)
Posted by: Michael Syravong on July 24, 2004 05:28 AMMy husband's cousin had his ears pinned back while he was in the army. He really did need it--should we say "dumbo" Too bad they didn't have a personality implant to add in with the ears.
Posted by: barb on July 28, 2004 10:06 AMWith all the monies going to other countries and thermonuclear warfare so forth and so on ...I think that the money should be spent a little wiser ....if you are ugly , live with it or pay for the operation yourself ,sorry, but, blame your parents. The tax payers have enough to worry about the mishandeling of government funds...but hay ...this is America...life free and go broke, some else will always pick up the tab...what a joke !!
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