Gooday, mates and mattresses:
You'll recall in our last episode that "Would We Lie?" called for an interplanetary ban on sex.
And our first step toward the peace that awaits us all is promotion of a special "pillow" for women. And it's made in Japan!
Japanese designers have created what they call the Boyfriend Arm Pillow, which according to a more gushy site "will happily hug them to sleep without making any demands."
One of the pillows even comes with an alarm: The "boyfriend" "vibrates" to "wake" the sleeping beauty.
Giving cause for optimism is this quote from somebody connected to the pillow maker: "Women of all ages have been queueing round the block to take one home."
Now all we need is a girlfriend pillow, and we're well on our way to a sex-free society.
And what will such freedom allow us in the future? We'll be able to talk more often to our boyfriends and girlfriends on our cell phones. We'll be able to spend more time at the bar, ogling the opposite sex (or same sex, if you prefer). We can afford more porn channels and Web sites, because we won't be spending so much money to attract members of the opposite (or whatever) sex into our beds (or wherever).
Yes, without sex we'll be able to ... uh, watch sex, listen to sex, taste sex, smell sex, wallow in sex. And all without actually having sex.
But wait a minute. Maybe we've been misled. Maybe sex is Nature's panacea. In addition to procreation, maybe sex provides pleasure in an unpleasant world. Maybe it allows us to show the deep love we feel for our partner. Maybe its various releases keep us from filling up with all sorts of fluids until we explode.
Maybe, just maybe, consensual sex between loving adults, however and wherever it is performed, is the key to WORLD PEACE! ...

Nah.
The sex is still out.

Posted at August 04, 2004 12:15 PM