The headlines read: "Nixon resigns, 30 years later."
And we think it's about time.
But we wonder what took the paperwork so long. We mean, come on, 30 years?
But isn't that the way the bureaucracy works?
First they probably had to make sure they had the right signature. And that took, oh, four years or so.
Then a clerk left it in the coffee room, and Billy Carter spilled some beer all over it, and it had to be printed out again and Nixon had to sign it again.
Then Nancy Reagan's astrologer told the Reagans that it should be placed under the president's pillow to help him forget, as Nixon did, the bad things going on around him.
There's eight years right there.
It probably stayed under that pillow when the Bushes moved in, the chambermaid having seen it there so long she assumed it belonged there.
Four more.
Bill Clinton, sensitive that he is, probably felt it under the pillow, took it out, and had a good laugh reading it while Monica Lewinsky was interning down below.
Finally, Dubya, yearning to leave a legacy far more conservative than Reagan did, quietly got the paperwork through.
And voila! Nixon resigns, 30 years later!
We just wish the big guy could be here to celebrate with us.

Posted at August 09, 2004 11:25 AM