Would We Lie?: Catholic college complains about fruits

August 31, 2004

Catholic college complains about fruits

Ever heard of Haribo? No?
OK, try this. Remember the "Little Rascals" kid who continually, annoyingly said, "Remarkabo!"
Well, the two words rhyme, kind of.
Haribo is a candymaker in Germany. It gained fame somewhere in the world with its Golden Bear, which we all know was later stolen by golfer Jack Nicklaus as a nickname.
More to the point: Haribo has attracted the ire of a Catholic college in Bonn because of its new candy wrappers, which show bits of fruit frolicking together in the altogether.
College officials say the fruits are obviously cavorting in a sexual manner, and they are offended.
A letter from the college says, according to other sources: "We are shocked at the shameless presentation of sexual practices on the wrapping, which includes not only sexual intercourse but also fellatio and cunnilingus."
If you don't believe those good Catholics, you can see for yourself right here.
In case you don't have a computer handy, let us try to describe the fruits' activities:
On one label, a lemon and a lime are winking and grinning and working on having little lemon-limes. (Said the college: "The lemon, which from the drawing looks female, is obviously enjoying it with the greatest of pleasure." Which we think is a good thing. Don't you?)
On another, a lime is joyfully licking a pair of cherries. (That lime does get around, doesn't he?)
The company's response to the Catholic criticism? "The new wrapping is certainly fruitier than the old. But we have not had any other complaints."
Given the recent history of the Catholic Church (and you know what we're talking about, nudge nudge, wink wink), we think the college's reaction to the fruity display is... "REMARKABO!"

Posted at August 31, 2004 11:47 AM

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All of this begs the question, "Is the Pope a fruit?"

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