Would We Lie?: A 'Would We Lie' pooper scooper

September 21, 2004

A 'Would We Lie' pooper scooper

Shoppers, we have a special in the gross department:
A Safeway store in Washington state recalled produce it had sold Sunday night after a worker found feces on some vegetables.
Yes, fecal matter. Human ... how do you say ... poop.
A 23-year-old homeless man was arrested across the street from the store.
Witnesses said the guy had earlier complained about an odor in the produce department.
When tracked down, witnesses said, the guy still had fecal matter on his person -- which might explain the above-mentioned odor.
Police are trying to match the feces on the vegetables with the feces on Mr. Potatohead. We believe that consists of a lineup of feces, which store workers must then examine through one-way glass to pinpoint the offender.
Police might also send some poop off for a DNA check, to eliminate all other human beings on the planet as suspects.
More to come as this case develops.

Posted at September 21, 2004 03:27 PM

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