And finally:
A Florida worker has received a workers' comp settlement after complaining that her job caused her to develop carpal tunnel syndrome.
Her job? Phone sex operator.
Our sources say the woman told officials that she developed the condition after masturbating several times a day as part of her job.
Her lawyer, who asked someone that he and his client not be identified (other than by the two wrist braces the woman will have to wear for a while), said the woman had to hold the phone with one hand and take notes and masturbate with the other.
The lawyer said the Fort Lauderdale woman was told "to do whatever it takes to keep the person on the phone as long as possible.”
Which makes "Would We Lie?" wonder: Wouldn't pleasant conversation have sufficed?
And with this entry, we'll say ta-ta for now.
"Would We Lie?" has decided to beat it.

"Would We Lie's" only wish for 2005 and beyond:
To write with such elegance, such passion, that 28 women would strip naked and sit in front of our home to pay homage to us.
Such a display occurred in Chile recently. The women took off all their clothes and were photographed sitting in front of a home where poet Pablo Neruda once lived.
We would direct you to the photo, but we're not supposed to do that sort of thing, and we're sure you can find it on your own.
On a more maudlin note, we say goodbye to 2004 with the first few lines of a poem by Neruda, the one called "Your Laughter":

Take bread away from me, if you wish,
take air away, but
do not take from me your laughter.

On second thought, take the bread. We're on a low-carb diet anyway.
But leave the air and the laughter.
We don't know what we'd do without either.